22:58

More changes are coming my way and I am freaking out internally but putting on a brave face externally.

What is happening??

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23:14

Does anyone else suffer from hayfever?

As much as I love that the weather in Scotland has vastly improved in recent weeks, my symptoms of hayfever have well and truly kicked in.

I simultaneously have a blocked nose where I can’t smell or taste much, and my nose runs and runs no matter how many times I blow it. I have a sore throat, dry cough and itchy eyes. I wake up multiple times in the night because I cannot breathe properly or I cough so violently that it feels like I will vomit. I have to sleep in a semi-upright position to make sure I can breathe.

Too much sharing here I know… but a struggle is a struggle. I never thought I would be wishing for gloomier days just so the pollen count will go down. Hopefully the summer months will be bearable!

21:24

Recently I drove down to Newcastle from Edinburgh for a wedding. While I have loved driving ever since my first lesson, this trip was one of the first times I had felt a sense of anxiety in my car. In my day to day life I drive a couple of times a week, mostly at the weekends and just within the city. I do my grocery shopping, I meet my friends, I drive to church and the swimming pool.

On the way back from Newcastle I encountered a diversion. This diversion was not well marked and instead of taking cars onto a different route forward, it instructed everyone to turn back and detour in the opposite direction of travel.

It was getting late, I was tired, and I was getting low on petrol. I was in an unfamiliar area on the motorway with no clear knowledge of where I should go. Instead of following the diversion back in the opposite direction, I headed onto the country roads. I ignored my GPS telling me to head back to the motorway (blocked off for roadworks) and used instinct to drive back north.

As I navigated tiny, pot-hole laden, windy lanes through fields and small towns I saw my petrol gauge dropping. Admittedly I didn’t fuel up after my drive down to Newcastle but I thought I would make it there and back on a full tank. As I drove through the countryside the sun was setting, but I couldn’t fully appreciate the splendour of the sunset colours as I was worried about getting home. I had thoughts of having to find a BnB in a small town due to getting stranded in the dark, and leaving my car at the side of the road and walking to get petrol.

Disconcerting thoughts aside, I managed to find my way back to the motorway (past the blocked off section) and made it back to Edinburgh safely. My petrol warning light came on on the stretch home! Thank God I managed to make it home safely with my friend despite the problem we encountered on the way. It’s in times like these I miss being a passenger as being a driver does take its toll on longer journeys. Thankfully I have no other long trips planned and that my sense of direction is pretty good. Everything is a learning experience though right?

21:34

Today is my WordPress anniversary! I’m not entirely sure how many years ago I started running this blog, but I am definitely proud of how far it has come. While I find myself with less words to write, I am thankful for an open yet safe space where I can share and relieve my mind.

This week of work has sped by! April has always been a ‘nothing’ month for me. In education days it was the month of Easter break and revision for exams, however now it holds no significance. Work life remains work life. As April comes to a close I wonder what the month of May will bring!

21:25

Sometimes it is difficult to realise in the moment that time passes by so quickly. The year has already led us to April and I wonder where the time has gone. What has happened in recent months?

In February I met my friend’s baby girl for the first time when she was just two weeks old! I think it was the first time I have held a baby so young and it was such a precious experience. I survived the snow storm which hit the UK at the end of the month! I ended up house bound for two days as there was a red weather warning, but luckily I was well prepared with food provisions.

Into March I experimented with cooking more and then went to Australia for two weeks! It was my first time flying abroad solo so it was definitely a learning experience. I visited Melbourne and Brisbane and thoroughly loved both cities. I petted and fed kangaroos and emus, held koalas and caught up with far away friends. I travelled the Great Ocean Road and went down to the Gold Coast. I swam in the same pool the Scottish Commonwealth swim team were training at, and ate tons of good food! I explored the cities in blazing heat (and the sun burn and tan lines I still nurse prove it!) I enjoyed my Easter weekend in Portsmouth in a beach house with 13 of my childhood friends, and celebrating the wedding of my former RE teacher. I woke up with the beach on my doorstep, the smell of the sea and the wind in my hair.

April has brought be back to my normal routine of work which I am appreciative of. It has been a hectic couple of months of which I am thankful. On Monday I attended a family dinner/BBQ with my aunties, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews. The first BBQ of the season!

A busy lifestyle has meant I have less time to sit back and reflect on these events, but a recent work experience has taught me that I need to make time for self reflection. It is in the times of thinking back that a person is able to grow and develop, to learn from past experiences and to further their character.

22:29

In recent weeks I have noticed how quickly the days are going by. In my regular work week schedule I find myself baffled at the arrival of another Friday in seemingly quick successions. I don’t know fully if it’s because I’ve been busier in 2018 or if I’m making the most out of my time, or a mix of the two.

As we draw closer to the middle of February I can safely say that 2018 has been good to me. I go to bed each night with a tiredness in my body that signifies I worked and played hard, and also with a content feeling in my heart. I am so thankful for this year already and I strive to have this heart of thanksgiving for the rest of the year.

23:10

It’s been a fair while since I’ve posted so I feel a little update is overdue!

I moved into a new flat mid-January which has brought about new challenges and exciting times! I have discovered a new love of cooking and planning meals, setting aside time to clean and do chores, and truly embracing down time. I have also been introduced to paying house bills, travelling further to work (thus waking up earlier), and fitting everything into different time schedules.

I have also truly learned to embrace family time at home. Over the holidays I got to relax and catch up with my family, whilst also being busy with gatherings with various friends. I rang in the new year with some of my oldest friends and learned to lie my way through many many games of Secret Hitler. I set up fireworks and screamed out of excitement (and fear) as the new year rang in!

Apologies for the less frequent posts but I am still here working my way through my twenties!

20:25

Currently undergoing trying and testing times due to a family member being in hospital for major surgery and recovery. It made me reconsider the things I hold dear to me. Last week I took an unexpected day off work to go to the hospital with my family. Previously I would have considered how my colleagues would feel picking up my work in my absence, or the fact that I have used all my annual leave already. However I found that I did not think about work that whole day because my heart was concerned with the matters of my family. Worrying about trivial things is not healthy or beneficial. Yes, we need to consider these things in the long run but it is also important that we can drop them at a moment’s notice.

22:25

Just checking in for a quick life update:

  • I’ve been given more responsibilities at work so things are hectic now and again, but I am happy for a change in pace and for more challenging tasks.
  • Swimming has become something I really enjoy and it helps me unwind. This week I went swimming after work on 4/5 days and my body is feeling great!
  • Catch ups with friends (even if for only a short while) build back those happy feelings in my heart. Forever blessed to be surrounded by lovely, supportive people.

 

20:00

Today I would like to address the humble brag and all those that use it knowingly and unknowingly.

Yesterday a friend said something along the lines of ‘Oh yeah I got head hunted yesterday but I don’t think I’m going to take the job.’

Firstly, never just drop information like that into a conversation! We were having a conversation about general work happenings from the past couple of weeks, and then that bomb dropped. Do not try and force it into conversation if it doesn’t fit in with the general tone! Your ‘oh yeah’ fake nonchalant attitude is not fooling anyone.

Secondly, it makes you look like an asshole. Seriously. No one is genuinely humble when they’re trying to make themselves look good. If you want to talk about something you’re proud of, be open about it! Do not conceal your bragging with fake humility, people can see through it! Nobody likes a show off.

Thirdly, how important is this information? Not very, right? In this case an employer took an interest in your profile, but you’re not doing anything about it… so your point is? Not to be offensive to said friend but what kind of response did you want me to have? Did you want me to be impressed that you were chosen? Validation that your skills and knowledge are far superior to those in the vicinity? In reality I ignored the humble brag until the next morning and then glazed over it when I eventually replied.

Humble brags rub people up the wrong way. We have all been on both sides of this situation. We brag because we want to feel valued and important. We value the opinions of others more now in the world of social media than perhaps in the past. In a social setting a humble brag may easily be played off by eye rolls or tuts, but on digital platforms they remain untouched. People don’t often get called out for doing it online. If there is something you are genuinely proud of accomplishing, by all means tell people! Just don’t mask it with a ‘I was just doing my job’ or ‘it was no big deal.’ People can spot a humble bragger from a mile away!