02:39

It’s not that I’m an insomniac because sometimes I can sleep for hours on end, nonetheless there are times in which I lie awake for what seems like an eternity. Last night I lay restless in bed for two hours before finally succumbing to slumber.

I completed a day of church and work on less than five hours sleep yet now I am wide awake. I have lost an hour due to Daylight Saving Time however I still do not sleep.

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01:29

I always say it doesn’t bother me and that I don’t care, but deep down I know it’s sitting there pulling at the strings of my heart. It makes me doubt, it makes me question myself, and it makes me worry. As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes things eat me up on the inside and I don’t feel as strong as I portray on the outside.

I have never been a girl who openly expressed her feelings and emotions to her friends. I have always dealt with problems and worries myself. I am stubborn, I am headstrong, I am self-willed.

It’s safe to say that no matter how much time passes the problem will still be there in the back of my mind, waiting for an opportune moment to grab my attention. Tonight is one of those moments. In a public setting it’s easy to blink back the tears and to tell myself it was a moment of weakness, but what is there to stop me when I am alone?

I think I need a reassuring hug, a genuine no-questions-asked, no-words-spoken, comforting hug.

02:05

First, a little background: I work one day a week at my uncle’s Chinese takeaway where we sell various dishes of Chinese cuisine. We get walk-in customers, telephone orders to collect and telephone orders to deliver. Occasionally we get the odd difficult customer and sometimes we get the band of students who insist on making our lives difficult. Tonight was one of those nights.

A few thoughts on working on such a night and things students should take note (N.B. basically a mini rant).

  1. Pollock Halls is literally 2 minutes down the road, get up and walk down to the takeaway, save yourselves some money! Stop wasting our time with deliveries down the road when we could easily be using that time to be doing other things.
  2. Never have we said that we’re fast food: deliveries take 20 minutes minimum (when there’s no other orders and depending on location) regardless of the propinquity of where you live.
  3. Delivery has a charge even if you live next door, so don’t complain about that. If you don’t want to pay it, come in and collect instead.
  4. Please know what you want to order before you phone up, at the very least have a vague idea. Do not ‘umm’ and ‘ahh’ over the menu for 5+ minutes while you decide and I have to listen to you, whilst also being backed up with customers in the shop.
  5. Be decisive. Order the soup, don’t order the soup, order the soup, change the soup, don’t order the soup, cancel the whole flipping order.. Don’t waste my time changing things around.
  6. One phonecall is enough. Leave me alone, I really can’t be dealing with you 3 times just because you’re indecisive and don’t know the prices of anything. Other customers try phoning in many times before being able to get through because you were wasting my time.
  7. Be patient! No you most certainly did not wait half an hour for your meal, the phone log says you called 15 minutes ago. Don’t tut or sound so exasperated on the phone to me, you are not the only order that we have to fulfil. Don’t phone up chasing your order, I have better things to do when it’s busy than listening to you complain about the reasonable time I said your order would get to you by.
  8. Know your address. I know that this sounds so basic that it shouldn’t even deserve a mention, but the number of students who don’t know their address is shocking. Also while I’m at it, know your phone number, know your postcode, know which buzzer on the door your flat is. This is not just restricted to students, I had a grown man give me the wrong address today (he said flat 7, 8 King’s Meadows, his actual address was flat 8, 7 King’s Meadows)… If you don’t know where you live then how do you expect us to deliver to you?
  9. Do not shout your order down the phone to me, do not shout to your friends in the background, do not shout over the blasting music from your house party, do not shout ‘WHAT?’ when you can’t hear me because you and your friends are being so damn loud.
  10. Mind your manners: don’t be rude. You move away from home to go to university and you think the world revolves around you. Reality check: it doesn’t. Just because you force your opinion it doesn’t mean you’re right. We don’t do free anything and there are no student freebies, if you’re really that lacking in funds just go and hibernate instead of squandering your money.

03:15

Current book is The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. As the blurb describes, it is a ‘dramatic, moving depiction of social defiance and social deference, of passion and human frailty.’

I am only on Chapter 6 out of 24 so I cannot comment too much on it thus far. I find the language a little difficult in places and I have to be fully concentrated in it to understand the passages. I don’t think it would be wise to try and read this on the bus, for me, it is more of a curl-up-in-a-comfortable-chair-with-a-cup-of-tea-book.

The reason behind me choosing to buy this book is a fairly silly one. A little background to me: I like to understand references to other things which appear in books, TV programmes and films. The Scarlet Letter is referenced in Easy A (film) where Olive emblazons a letter A onto all of her clothing, like Hester Prynne in the book. I was curious about this reference so decided to read the book to fully understand the film.

03:21

‘I like the rain mainly late at night. As I’m falling asleep. A wonderful mixture is made of heavy rain and heavy eyelids.’

Anonymous

Reading this was like looking into my soul. I indeed love the sound of rain late at night when my eyes are closing and my body is warm and comfortable stretched out in the covers.

02:27

I am feeling thoughtful tonight. Night time is a time for thoughts to swirl, for ideas to develop and for feelings to flourish.

By morning these deep thoughts have disappeared and all is refreshed and new. Night is the period of time for deep emotions to be manifested, for the truth to rise up out of our souls. Night time is more honest than the day, barriers are taken down and masks are removed.