03:44

I can’t seem to find the right balance between opening up to people and closing myself off. If I leave myself an open book I feel vulnerable and like my life is being judged, on the other hand if I lock up my emotions and feelings I feel suffocated. I could be drowning in my own insecurities and shortcomings and people would not know because I’d like to think that I am good at keeping my life private.

Where is the cut off point? Open book or bound by lock and key?

01:09

My heart is happy from an eventful Easter Monday up in Aberdeen with two of my closest friends. The sun shone, the sky was blue and the company was perfect. Though the rain has returned, the skies are grey and revision is my company, the memories will always remain.

I will always prefer a smaller gathering with a select few over a large group, the intimacy and memories are deeper and more ingrained. Good friends make for a glad heart.

00:47

Attempt 1 of many: going to climb into bed and try a close to 01:00 sleeping time.

I figured that I need to form a better sleeping pattern where I go to sleep in the night time and wake up in the morning. Waking up in the afternoon is a real downer on a day especially when it’s bright and sunny outside, but I will have missed the majority of it by the time I leave the house.

Here goes nothing.

02:25

Messaging through text or any other form of e-interaction is a way of keeping in touch with people who you can’t be physically with at that moment in time. It is a way of communicating and having a conversation while in reality you may be hundreds or thousands of miles apart, even spread through different time zones and continents.

While messaging of this form has its benefits, it also has its downsides. Here are a few issues that I find quite irksome:

  1. One word replies: sometimes there are more than one word, but they don’t add anything to the conversation nor do they keep the chat flowing. Examples would be ‘Ahh I see’ or ‘Okay then’. When people use these on me I feel like I have nothing to say in response, also it means it is up to me to carry on the conversation with a new topic. In all honesty it makes me feel like what I said prior to the one word reply is unimportant or uninteresting to the other party, something not worth a proper reply to. When someone talks to me I reply genuinely, with interest, asking questions where necessary, and most importantly I keep the conversation flowing.
  2. Overuse of any form of laughter: ‘Lol’ is a word I cannot use, I physically loathe it with all of my being and typing it here makes me feel uneasy. The fact that people use it as a conversation filler is ridiculous, no one genuinely laughs all that much. I use ‘haha’ now and again but only in times where I truly find something funny.
  3. Typos: a personal pet peeve. I always correct myself when I type something wrong simply because I need the satisfaction of knowing I spelt it correctly. As someone who pays great attention to detail I feel like even through text chat spelling is crucial.
  4. Lack of personal touch: I’ve always liked the old fashioned way of communicating through letters. There’s something about seeing your own name handwritten on an envelope, unfolding a letter and reading words someone personally took the time to write to you. I know that nowadays letter writing has become lost in amongst the e-mails and Whatsapps and whatever else we use to communicate because it isn’t efficient. Letters can take days (even weeks!) to be delivered while a text can be sent in an instant. There’s something almost romantic about receiving a letter that someone personally wrote to you, something which tells you that you mean more and are worth the time. Holding a mobile phone and reading a heartfelt message through the screen is not the same as holding the handwritten words on a piece of paper.