22:44

An emergency trip home to visit my grandma in hospital has been the wake up call that I needed. I have been so engrossed in my own matters, my own satisfactions, and my own pleasures, that I have forgotten the things which are most important.

Hearing about the difficulties of my grandma’s operation and hospital stay brought to reality how much I had neglected my own family. Throughout the summer I have been out watching shows, getting dinner with my friends after work, visiting European countries without telling my family… the list goes on.

While I prefer to withdraw myself from people for my own comfort, I do not always remember to check in with my family. I have realised how selfish this is, how my recluse ways are not ideal, and how this affects my own mental health. As I live 300+ miles away from my immediate family, it is very important that I alter my thinking (not only for my family’s sake but also my own).

22:44

I dislike the negative stigma of doing things by yourself. What is the big deal?

Recently I have had friends and colleagues make comments about how they ‘simply cannot’ do things by themselves. They have stated feelings of being awkward or embarrassed when entering an establishment alone, or even just being seen to be by themselves at an event.

Sometimes the best company is your own. I know that sounds awfully big headed or pompous but it’s true. Sometimes what you need is only granted by your own self, whether that be through your own thoughts, actions or solutions.

I am a big believer in making your own happiness, in fulfilling your own wishes, and being true to yourself. Doing things as an individual helps to build up your self confidence; and your foundation of who you are. Being alone gives you head room to think freely, to live honestly and to treat yourself right.

22:06

  • Perpetually tired.
  • Forever aching.
  • Slowly deteriorating.

Recently another year was added to my twenty something self and though there was no immediate change to my being, I realised the afore mentioned things.

I cannot remember the last time I woke up feeling refreshed from a good nights sleep, nor when my body did not ache or hurt in the slightest. My memory is worse, my reactions are slower and my tastes have changed. Is this what the onset of thirty brings?