23:24

There are two types of anger: hot anger and cold anger.

Hot anger is heated (as the name suggests) and normally involves full-blown arguments and face-to-face altercations. The person does not hold back and expresses anything to get across their point. This could be in the form of swear words, spiteful accusations or even physical violence.

Cold anger is a calm, seething anger. It sits below the surface of one’s emotions and waits. This cold anger can be long-lasting and eventually be the source of one’s grudges and future anger. On the surface the person seems fine and like nothing is wrong, but inside they have not forgotten the problem (and certainly not forgiven the person who wronged them).

Personally I have cold anger tendencies. I do not like to talk about my anger or annoyances but instead close up to others and bury the issue inside myself. I am not one to express my anger in words or actions in the presence of other people, however sometimes I may voice what has ticked me off in a sarcastic way. I also find that writing a blog or a journal helps me to release some of that built up tension, and seeing it down on paper often lets me see how trivial the matter was. Going on walks and runs also helps me to forget about things, and to unleash that seething rage from its home in my chest.

Advertisements

13:51

It has been a rebellious week so far.

Getting lectured for things doesn’t bode well with me; hence a lot of storming away and purposely skipping classes. I am not one to enjoy being told what to do (especially when the advice I am given is ridiculous).

Not once in my life have I been told that I am a bad influence, but that changed yesterday. Sometimes it feels good to push the boundaries and to test the limits.

I have been dealing with a lot of anger and frustrations and when authority has pushed against me, I have pushed back (with greater force than I realised I had). Being surrounded with hundreds of people aggravates me so I distance myself and take every opportunity to find that quiet time (which sometimes involves breaking the rules).

10 more days and I can breathe freely again. 10 more days and I can forget everything bad that happened here.

11:41

Yes, I know I know, I said I would be on hiatus for 3 weeks and it has only been 1 week and not even half a day. But sometimes you just have to blog right?

Current emotions: pissed off, angered, and stressed.

Something which I thought was done and dusted has reared its ugly head and is now back in my life, making my every day a living nightmare. I feel like every time that I completely forget about it, something happens to intensify the situation and I get to go through the long process of forgetting again.

I am currently sat on a swing in a childrens’ park in Newcastle somewhere, apparently the movement of the swings soothes me. What happened to being a child and being so carefree? Why must we become adults and deal with problems? Sometimes I cannot wait to be older and to have my whole life put together, but on the other hand sometimes I have Peter Pan syndrome and I never want to leave childhood.

I should probably get back to where I am supposed to be before I get a telling off for fighting the system. They told us to have a quiet hour so it is their own fault that I took it literally.

01:57

Words aren’t my friend tonight. I’m feeling angry yet upset and frustrated all at the same time.

You’d think as you got out of high school that people would stop talking rubbish and gossiping about things which don’t concern them. I guess some people just don’t grow out of it but I can’t help feeling that as adults we should all know better.

Can I go for a stress-relieving run in the middle of the night? I would gladly settle for punching someone in the face right now.