21:28

What a quick transition into May?! Common consensus is that the month of March dragged on quite a bit, while April has been and gone so quickly, and already we are into May. Quarantine life has made the passing of time a strange concept.

I wonder if I will ever get used to waking up according to my own schedule, or to having ‘too much’ spare time, or even to only seeing friends and family virtually. I find myself checking the news much more regularly than before, hoping for some semblance of good news or improvement to the current situation. At one point in early lock down I was reading the news at multiple points in the day. I found that this was not beneficial to my mental health and I found myself showing signs of anxiety. While I wanted to keep up to date with current happenings, it made my heart uneasy and my stress levels grow. At this point in the lock down the UK news seems to have levelled off. The general public know the rules to social distancing and how to go about their daily lives, it is more just a question of when things will change again.

Hoping everyone around the world is staying safe in light of the current situation!

22:47

Today was a ‘walk in the rain’ kind of day. Albeit I only walked from work to the bus stop, and then from the bus stop to my house, the rain pouring down felt good in a way. It felt like a cleansing of the stress and anxiety that I have been feeling lately. In that short walk I felt the raindrops patter down onto my hair, slowly bead on my forehead and drip down my nose. In nature’s weather extremities my life feels calmer and more at ease. My problems seem lessened and are forgotten about for a brief moment.

As the weather has been miserable lately I have been spending a lot more time indoors compared to a month ago. I have not been able to walk home from work in the sun, nor have I been able to bring myself to leave the comforts of my own room for fear of facing the elements. I know these sound like excuses however I look to change them this month.

My interaction with nature has dropped considerably. I am always plugged in and tuned out. I sit at a desk for long periods of my day. I prefer to look at my phone than at the world. Here’s to the hopeful, little changes and inspiration that come from a walk in the rain.

01:36

I have the tendency to worry over the smallest things which blows things way out of proportion. The mind is a funny thing. I am also prone to thinking of the worst case scenario which leads to more worries and more anxiety.

Nevertheless, my deadlines are all completed, thank God. Just my presentation to do on Friday afternoon and this cluster of stress will have dissipated.

Less worries, more confidence in myself.