18:38

Ever get that feeling of relief after you realised a tough decision worked out in the end? I just had that moment.

It’s like a wave of comfort washed over me and I absolutely knew in my heart that I made the correct decision back then. Happy days.

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22:02

Woah! It has been a long long time since I have posted anything on here…

So what’s new?

Not all that much if I’m honest! At work I have had incredibly busy stints and also lulls in the flow. I have also switched to doing a later shift every 3 weeks which offsets my weekly routine a little. After I get home from a later shift I feel like I do not have enough time to fully relax before I have to get ready for bed and prepare for the next morning. Work aside, my personal life has been very much the same. I am still swimming regularly and have recently taking up jogging again as it gives me valuable time to think. I have had family and friends visiting from all over the world so there have been many times where we all gather together and enjoy each others’ company. I am still working on putting together my Los Angeles and San Francisco footage. I hope to get at least one video edited and uploaded in the month of September though! Autumn is for staying in, getting cosy and chilling with a hot drink right? Perfect editing conditions!

Although I am not posting as regularly as I had hoped, I will leave little updates here and there as assurance that I am okay!

21:29

As someone who is more on the introverted side of the introvert/extrovert scale, I am always looking for ways in which I can feel more comfortable in the general public. While I can walk down a busy street without feeling anxiety, I often have panicky feelings or pangs of social awkwardness when faced with crowds (both strangers and people I know).

When faced with a situation in which I have to speak to an acquaintance, I tend to stay quite quiet and avoid making conversation where possible. I am not a fan of small talk! On Monday mornings I seldom ask colleagues how their weekends went (not out of rudeness but out of a slight feeling of uncomfortableness). I think that this sometimes stems from my weekend habits. On Sundays I tend to take the day to recharge my batteries and have some alone time. Come Monday morning; the loud dynamics of colleagues chatting is sometimes difficult to emulate. I work hardest when it is quiet and peaceful; however office etiquette calls for bonding with colleagues and sharing interests. With a naturally quiet character it can sometimes be difficult to interact with those who have a much louder personality.

Recently in a monthly meeting with my team leader, she told me of an observation she had made of my character. She noticed that I had been more open and vocal, engaging in more conversations with colleagues and generally having a more outgoing demeanour. She seemed pretty pleased that I was engaging with my colleagues more (not that I was ever a completely silent worker), and that I seemed happier as of late. I had not actively changed my behaviour in the past month so it was strange yet satisfying to hear this observation from a colleague. I am pleased to realise that my comfort levels in interacting with others has increased (if only a little), and that I don’t give off a socially awkward vibe (as much as I think I do). Sometimes all an introvert needs is the quiet reassurance that they are doing okay.

21:54

Things have been a little hectic in the last couple of weeks with friends visiting and consecutive nights out. I could feel my own emotions swelling up inside of me because I needed a period of solitude to relax and recharge.

This week has been a much needed change from previous weeks. I have spent nearly every evening at home. I actually sat down for dinner with my extended family for the first time in a while, and it was very comforting.

This weekend I will be travelling back to my home town to visit my family and friends, and to also attend my friends’ wedding. The last time I returned home was at the beginning of June before I started my working life. While I enjoy my life here in Edinburgh, there are times that I get homesick and feel very lost in my independence. When I return to my home every half a year or so, I can see so many changes. However sometimes when I return, it feels like not much has changed since I was last there.

Long weekend, here I come!