00:26

I like spontaneous days out and trying new things. As much as I like to have set plans and schedules, days of spontaneity also hold a place in my heart. I like to enter details into my phone calendar of where I was, who I was with, from what time to what time. My holidays in 2014 had itineraries that were meticulously planned. Whilst organisation makes me feel like I am in control, sometimes not knowing is a better choice.

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01:46

Yesterday I did another clear out of my room, this time being my Edinburgh bedroom. Over the past 3 and a half years I have accumulated a lot of things. Some of these things can be sorted into the category of junk while other things are ‘keepers’.

Some items I kept in the past for nostalgia’s sake because they reminded me of an event or experience. Some I kept because they held emotional significance to a certain person or time in my life. Some items I kept simply because I thought they would come in useful one day.

I carefully sorted through my nostalgic things and decided which ones made the cut. I considered why I had kept these things and whether I would remember the experience without the physical item. I also considered whether I still held that memory close to my heart, and for many I no longer did. For the items that held emotional significance I thought about my relationships with the people that they represented. Was that person still in my life today? I found that often they no longer were, so the items were discarded. The things I kept because I thought they would be useful in the future had been untouched for weeks, months and even years. They clearly had no further use and were thrown out.

While this way of organizing and tidying may sound ruthless to some, it is a necessary step for me. There are some things which are obviously worth holding onto, but moreover there are things which no longer have a place in my life. I always feel lighter and less burdened when physical items in my vicinity have been removed. My room feels clearer and tidier, and most importantly organized.

00:35

Yesterday I tidied out a lot of things from my old room and rearranged items around. While I am at university in Edinburgh for the majority of the year my younger brother uses my room as his own.

I am known for being quite the hoarder so getting rid of things takes longer than it should. I am sentimental over small things such as film tickets or birthday cards, and these take up room in my already small living space. I have birthday cards dating back to when I was in my teens and I hold onto them because they remind me of how far I have come now. I keep holiday memorabilia and old presents because they show me experiences and fun times from the past.

I have managed to condense a lot of my old things so they can be stored in boxes and put neatly away. I have put my small collection of books in order and also slotted in my old childhood favourites.

I have a little bit of tidying left to do today before I return to Edinburgh on Friday, but I am looking forward to having my room exactly how I want it. As the saying goes, ‘a clear room makes for a clear mind.’ Or something along those lines…

01:44

I feel like I get annoyed much more easily nowadays, shorter temper and more likely to explode at people. Trying to organise this holiday is really getting to me and while we have some things sorted out, the chat has turned and everyone is distracted.

I am so excited for the trip yet I feel like nothing is being sorted. Organisation is one of my strong points and so I think I may just create the daily itinerary and then send it out, see what they think and just rearrange it from there. It sounds horrible but I would rather do the organisation by myself than wait for the ‘help’ I receive from the others. I guess that would be the stubbornness in me showing through. I’ve always been a strong believer of ‘if I can do this by myself, then I will do it by myself.’ I like to be independent, I like to do my own thing and I like my solitary periods of time.

In the words of Chandler’s ‘quit-smoking’ tape on Friends, ‘You are a strong, independent, young women who does not need to smoke.’

00:36

I feel like I am currently sitting on a small boat drifting slowly here and there in the midst of a vast ocean. My reasons for feeling like this? I feel like my plans for a day out are going nowhere. Like the boat, there is no direction set, there are limited ideas on how to get going in the right direction and calling out for help is futile.

While others may like the spontaneity of a day out, I like to know the plans before setting off. I do not need an itinerary for the whole day, just at least a gist of what we will be doing so I know there will be limited time wasted deciding what to do.

I pride myself in my organisation so it’s frustrating when others are no help in planning.