23:05

Recently I have had to commute to the Perth office over a couple of days to cover staff holidays, so I spent some time with friends in Dundee to cut down on travel time. During my car journeys I had time to reflect on my own development within my job as well as my self growth.

When I was first offered my position I was a fresh university graduate with little experience in the working environment. Almost two years later have passed since then and my responsibilities within the role have doubled (probably even tripled). Stressful times hit me every week and problems arise that need to be unpicked. Outside of work I often worry about not having enough time to complete a project, or fret over a stressful encounter at work. Stressful situations aside, I am very thankful to be in a workplace which appreciates my work and to work with like-minded individuals.

Never did I intend to find a job in this industry let alone still be within the same company (almost) two years later. Whilst it is important to provide a living for yourself, it is also important to enjoy your job (to an extent). If my job had been mind-numbingly repetitive and ‘soul-destroying’; I would have left a long time ago. I am thankful for colleagues who are encouraging and a pleasure to work with, and for a workplace which I feel comfortable in.

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22:47

Today was a ‘walk in the rain’ kind of day. Albeit I only walked from work to the bus stop, and then from the bus stop to my house, the rain pouring down felt good in a way. It felt like a cleansing of the stress and anxiety that I have been feeling lately. In that short walk I felt the raindrops patter down onto my hair, slowly bead on my forehead and drip down my nose. In nature’s weather extremities my life feels calmer and more at ease. My problems seem lessened and are forgotten about for a brief moment.

As the weather has been miserable lately I have been spending a lot more time indoors compared to a month ago. I have not been able to walk home from work in the sun, nor have I been able to bring myself to leave the comforts of my own room for fear of facing the elements. I know these sound like excuses however I look to change them this month.

My interaction with nature has dropped considerably. I am always plugged in and tuned out. I sit at a desk for long periods of my day. I prefer to look at my phone than at the world. Here’s to the hopeful, little changes and inspiration that come from a walk in the rain.

01:36

I have the tendency to worry over the smallest things which blows things way out of proportion. The mind is a funny thing. I am also prone to thinking of the worst case scenario which leads to more worries and more anxiety.

Nevertheless, my deadlines are all completed, thank God. Just my presentation to do on Friday afternoon and this cluster of stress will have dissipated.

Less worries, more confidence in myself.

23:54

Today my friends and I explored the area of Linlithgow. We went up to Linlithgow Palace and around Linlithgow Loch, where we fed the swans and geese. Afterwards we drove to South Queensferry to look at the bridges and the sea view. We ended the day with dinner and dessert with laughter and silly conversations.

It was refreshing to take my mind off university work though only for the one day. Looking out to sea always calms my heart and exploring new places eases my stress.

Thank God for amazing friends and scenic places!

18:44

5 days left till this part of my stressful life is over. 5 days till I can go to sleep and not have to wake up at 06:30 and endure a 17 hour day. 5 days till I can do things without my every move being watched.

There are so many things that I need right now; and also so many things that I want.

I cannot wait for this week to be over. I really cannot wait.