21:58

A couple of things that happened from March onwards:

• I spent some quality time with my parents while they were in Edinburgh. I will visit them next week when I travel home for Easter break! It will be good to see family and friends again, especially my elderly grandmother who isn’t as mobile any more.
• I went bowling for the first time in years! I wasn’t particularly good but it felt like I was a child again just having fun!
• I got three fillings and fell asleep while in the dentist’s chair. This is the result of the pandemic which caused the dentist surgeries to shut for a while. The falling asleep part is due to the fact I don’t mind going to the dentist – injections and all those noises don’t bother me!
• I went bouldering for the first time and wasn’t too bad. My back was surprisingly sore the next day and I could feel the tautness of my muscles, but it felt good to exercise in a fun, different way.
• I led a successful surprise bridal shower for my friend! We had friends and family gather in a tea house, and I brought her inside under the pretence of returning a purchase. When everyone jumped out she was thoroughly surprised! A lot of organisation and planning – two things which I enjoy – and happy faces and bellies.
• I satisfied many food cravings and tried some new Edinburgh restaurants. This is definitely something I do a lot of every month! Food is such a simple joy for me!
• I was offered a position within the law firm that my current company is an outsourcer for. I was doing a secondment of 3 days a week in the Compliance team with 2 days at my regular job. The firm appreciated the value I added in those 3 days and how I cleared the majority of backlogged work, and offered me a full time position! I am due to start at the beginning of May. This is a role I have been looking to get into since studying at university, and I am so grateful and thankful that this opportunity came up.
• Wedding festivities have started for my friend! The bride’s side of the banquet was held yesterday. It was fun and emotional to help the bride get ready, and it was a happy occasion to see everyone all dressed up and celebrating together. A busy week lies ahead with the wedding ceremony and groom’s banquet in Newcastle. I am thankful for some time off despite it going to be spent being super busy!

22:42

Aaaand we made it back full circle to another year adding onto my life (tomorrow)!

I will still be in my twenties but another step closer to being in the next age bracket. I am working but I get to finish a little earlier so will be meeting a friend to go out for dinner. Nothing big planned (as usual) but thankful for all the little things that have happened recently.

My older brother, sister-in-law and nephew gifted me a high quality scarf – when they were visiting Edinburgh – as an early birthday present. They know I have a penchant for scarves and chose one of my favourite colour schemes. A thoughtful gift I wasn’t expecting! On Thursday last week I went out to dinner with my parents, brother, sister-in-law and nephew. They surprised me with cakes to celebrate my early birthday. This was special as I knew I wouldn’t be able to see them on the actual day. On Sunday I caught up with a friend over the afternoon into the evening, which was lovely one on one time. Today I met another friend for lunch, and though we both lead busy schedules I am thankful we could make time to catch up.

My heart is full with the quality time I have spent with family and friends, and I truly feel very blessed. For me it has always been about the little, kind gestures over the big, dramatic ones. I am thankful for those around me (both far and near), for health (I got my first vaccination!), and also happiness through all my years so far. Thank you readers for following me on this journey of life, I appreciate you more than you know.

21:10

Over this mini break I have taken some time to do my usual housework (laundry, ironing, vacuuming, groceries) and today I spent a small portion of the day shredding old documents. I realised I had accumulated a lot of letters and bank statements that I no longer needed copies of (some dating back to 2011!) The physical destruction of these papers was liberating and I ended up with 3 bags of shredded waste. I also got in a long walk after lunch as the sun was out but the temperatures were mostly low.

On Saturday I met my brother and my baby nephew for a walk to get ice cream in town. The temperatures were much higher that day, so it was the first time this year I went out with only short sleeves. We caught up and walked around pushing the baby in his pram, and also popped to visit our aunt and uncle, and then our cousin and his family. The restrictions are slowly lifting but this has been the first time we have seen some of our relatives since early last year! I am happy and grateful that everyone is keeping well, and staying safe until we can meet again.

22:54

After a couple of busy weeks back at work I have a little break for the Easter weekend. The office is closed on Friday and Monday so I get to relax and enjoy some time off. Though I have only been back to work for one month it feels good to have some personal time. Tomorrow I plan to meet my friend for a walk with her son and daughter, taking them to the park and also trying out a new Chinese bakery. 2021 seems to be passing much quicker than 2020 did!

22:08

Today I had the day off – splitting my working week into two shorter ‘weeks’ is my favourite holiday hack! I slept in later than usual, took my time to get ready then met a friend for an Italian lunch. We stayed and talked in the restaurant for a while as we hadn’t seen each other since September, and then went for a walk.

It is the little social things that have changed the most. I stood at the door of my friend’s flat with my face mask on and chatted briefly with her parents. Usually I would have stepped inside and stayed for a short while, but that is against Scottish coronavirus rules. Even being out in a restaurant there are certain rules we have to follow . I miss being able to sit and relax in a cafe without worrying about what I was exposing myself to. The freedom to travel to the neighbouring counties has been taken away, let alone travelling to other cities or countries. I recently renewed my passport which is ironic as no one can travel. I believe the majority of the world is doing what they can in order to stay safe and protect those around them. Hopefully everyone powers through this difficult period and we can all come out the other end and be reunited!

22:20

During this pandemic I have definitely been appreciating quality time with others more because it has become so rare. Current rules in the UK vary from region to region and even in different cities. In Edinburgh we are still not allowed to enter into another person’s household. We can meet outdoors or in public places but not in homes. With quality time being my preferred love language (both giving and receiving) it has been difficult during the pandemic to feel that same closeness with others. I started off in March with several chats and video calls, but as the months have passed by the novelty for these has dwindled.

On Tuesday I dropped off some gifts for my younger brother and my sister-in-law and got to see them very briefly. Though we did not speak for too long it was nice to see them in person and to catch up. Today I went for a dander in the rain with my friend and we ended up in a cafe. We chatted for a while as we had not seen each other properly in so long. It also felt somewhat normal to be laughing and joking in a cafe again.

As the pandemic continues and the number of cases rises everyday, it is easy to feel gloomy and uneasy about the situation. The dreary Scottish weather also hasn’t helped in lifting anyone’s spirits. As we all adapt to the new normal we need to remember to reach out to others too. A small message to say hello, a gift out of the blue, a catch up in person – all of these are things we can do to brighten someone’s day.

21:45

Yesterday I had a heartfelt catch up with one of my friends. We went to a cafe and chatted until the cafe closed. Admittedly it was the first time we’ve socialised outside of church one on one, however we talk quite often over messages. While our conversation topics were light for the most part, she asked me some questions which I found that I had never really considered before. I am particularly private but I felt relief in unburdening some of my inner thoughts and turmoils.

Throughout my studies and work life I have always worked the same. Work hard, concentrate, and focus until breaking point. Everything simmers underneath the surface until it eventually spills over. I find that this is a really unhealthy practice. Although I never consciously do it, events always seem to pan out this way. I am slowly learning to confide in others whom I trust, and to release tension in ways that work for me. While these steps may seem little, they have been huge leaps in my working practice. My mind is less heavy and my feelings are more free. Sometimes all you need is a listening ear and someone to enjoy the quiet with.

22:09

Yesterday I pushed myself to see a group of friends who I haven’t seen in a while. These friends are easy to get on with but are much more extroverted than I am – which is why I do not see them that often. As a keen introvert I tend to shy away from large group hang outs and opt for smaller group occasions instead. A larger group can be mentally draining and takes more effort on my part to ‘fit in’.

The initial group of 15 was difficult to get used to. I felt like I was quiet and not really a part of their conversations – like an outsider looking in. However as the night went on and I spoke to people on a one-to-one basis, I felt more relaxed and at ease.

One friend (who I have always connected to a little more) took the time to catch up with me which made the social situation a little less daunting. He also remembered a fact about me which I didn’t even know he knew! I questioned how he knew and he gave the reply, “Everyone knows this about you.” It was such a small and passing comment but it really resonated with me. It was actually a compliment in disguise. It was a reassurance that I was not forgotten despite my absence from frequent social gatherings. It was a detail so small, yet it was comforting to know that people remembered that about me.

As the night went on, the numbers of the group dwindled down and we started to reminisce on memories. I had settled into a safe space with people I was comfortable with, talking about how we had all grown together and come so far. We ended the night around 1am (noticeably later than my usual early bed times) and went our separate ways. I left the gathering with a warm feeling in my heart – I had pushed myself into an uncomfortable situation and prevailed.

Getting out of my comfort zone is a challenge but the biggest obstacle is actually my own thoughts. There is always a ‘what if’ thought. A pessimistic thought that suggests something could go wrong. A daunting task in front of me that I can’t achieve. But what if it goes right? What if I can achieve it? I like to think that I can encourage people but when it comes to myself I struggle. It may not be easy but getting rid of the negative thoughts is the first step to success.

22:25

Just checking in for a quick life update:

• I’ve been given more responsibilities at work so things are hectic now and again, but I am happy for a change in pace and for more challenging tasks.
• Swimming has become something I really enjoy and it helps me unwind. This week I went swimming after work on 4/5 days and my body is feeling great!
• Catch ups with friends (even if for only a short while) build back those happy feelings in my heart. Forever blessed to be surrounded by lovely, supportive people.